I realize, you probably know some or all of these. I wanted to share them anyway because they were new to me and gave me a good hearty chuckle.


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The dmv line inched along for almost an hour until Mr.Smith finally got his license. He inspected his photo for a moment and commented to the clerk, �I was standing in line so long, I ended up looking pretty grouchy in this picture.�
Mrs.Smith peered over his shoulder, then reassured him, �It�s okay. That�s how you�re going to look when the cops pull you over anyway.�
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A teenage boy got his driving permit. He asked his father, who was a minister, if they could discuss his use of the car.
His father said to him, �I`ll make a deal with you. You bring your grades up, study your Bible a little, and get your hair cut, then we will talk about it.� A month later the boy came back and again asked his father if they could discuss his use of the car.
His father said, �Son, I`m real proud of you. You have brought your grades up, you`ve studied your Bible diligently, but you didn`t get hair cut!�
The teenager waited a moment and replied, �You know Dad, I`ve been thinking about that. You know Samson had long hair, Moses had long hair, Noah had long hair, and even Jesus had long hair.�
His father replied, �Yes son, and they walked everywhere they went!�
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A teenage daughter got family-car privileges. On Saturday night she returned home very late from a party.The next morning her father went out to the driveway to get the newspaper and came back into the house frowning.
At 11:30 AM the girl sleepily walked into the kitchen, and her father asked her, �Sweetheart, what time did you get in last night?�
�Not too late, Dad.� she replied nervously. Dead-panned, her father said, �Then, my precious one, I`ll have to talk with the paperboy he put my paper under the front tyre of the car.�
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A drunk couple was trying to unlock the door of their car with a coat hanger. The husband said, �I can`t seem to get this door unlocked!� His wife replied, �Well, you`d better hurry up and try harder, its starting to rain and the top is down!�
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Man who drives like hell is bound to get there.
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