Hi,
The following is a continution from my personal journal, it follows in from my journaling dated 26 Ocober. It is around page 6 on this same topic.

9 May 2006

Today I have driven 200km into NSW for the court hearing where the father wanted to get sole custody of child. It was adjourned as per plan. The judge said something to the effect of not being aboe to rule on this request until the matter in Queensland (with docs) is finalised. It has been adjourned until 13.6.06. The judge seemed as perplexed by it as was the solicitor representing me. Afterwards my solicitor said that NSW docs can only keep a child for 2 weeks and if no evidence is evident then the child must be returned to their home.

I woke at 2.30am and couldn't go back to sleep. I decided to start driving at 4.00am incase something happened and so Iwould still make it on time. I was super early.

It was very chilly when I first arrived. I watched as all the people arrived to go to court. It was a long and tedious morning.

After court the father and I went for coffee. Father asked me whilst we were walking down the street if I knew that child was abused whilst in the foster home and docs are trying t hush it up. At first I thought I wonder if father is making thjis up to get me upset and make me feel more guilty.

Father told me that on the 5 April 2006 when they (father and paternal grandparents) went to collect child that docs workers took child to the toilet and noticed that child had 2 bruises on his bottom cheeks.
This resulted in child being taken to the local public hospital, inspected by the doctors, reported on and hotographs being taken of his buttocks.
Docs never reported this to me.

Some of my first thoughts were I hope they don't think I inflicted that onto child during my access visit. Apparently child told father that he was smacked for pooing his pants.

Shit I am angry.

Then father started going on at me verbally in the coffee shop. I told him to stop but soon the conversation got back to father getting angry with me again.

Father said we could get child back and have 50/50 share care. I said to father but you wrote in your application about me having supervised visits.

I said 50/50 care wouldn't work due to the state thing (NSW/Qld).
Father said 1 of us could move.
Father started to have a go at me about me talking to docs in the first place, it was my fault as I rang them.
Father agreed that we don't get on and all this is a domestic/ family dynamics issue. I said but you know I have never hurt child and father said something about he doesn't know now and about the scathing report that docs had written against me.

After a short time I had enough of listening to father and knew it wasn't going to get better. I decided to get up and leave, so I cut it short, excused myself and got up to leave.
The father chased after me and said something about being civil. I said I am leaving whilst it is still civil. I said see you Thursday and walked off. I then drove off back to Queensland.

As I drove I chewed over things in my mind. Especially what father had just informed me of.

Just as I was pulling into the drive way of my home docs new case manager CSO S rang me. We talked for ages about the impending family meeting. I asked her about the bruises on child's buttocks. She said she didn't know of this but would look into it.
This was of interest to CSO S as S is now child's case manager and all this information on the bruises should be in that file she has. She didn't get this handed over to her.

S said she needs a report5 from my psychiatrist that I am stable and taking medication. (They can shove their fucking doctors and medicationsup their arse - I am no different to how I ever am - it doesn't get any better.) The CSO S saw that my solicitor emailed her and stated she could not make it to the family meeting on 11.5.06. SCO S said she strongly suggests I have legal representation there. S also wondered about how to facilitate more access visits and wondered if phone contact would be suitable. I said this would be inappropriate.

I came inside and rang my solicitor who said she was ready to shoot loads of bullets at docs in the way in which they are handling this.
I told solicitor now about the bruises on child and asked can she subpoena the files from the hospital. She is going to. I could just about get this hosptial information myself being a Queensland Health employee.
solicitor said she wants to contest the whole thing that docs will now try and adjourn tuesday 16.5.06 court case until a new family meeting takes place and then solicitor is going to argue for the child to be placed back with the mother (me) ASAP.

I am angry. I am really troubled. Lately I have stopped sleeping. I am so angry about this whole process. Sure I rang docs but look at how they have carried on. I am workse that I have ever been. Not to meniton the financial pressure on me now. It is all completely fucked up. Absolutely.

I rang the paternal grandmother to enquire about child and the bruises. I have this conversation on tape. Sure enough it happened. I told this granmother the gorp meeting is now cancelled and post-phoned until 24.5.06.
I had to tape this incase somehow this was turned against me and everyone denied it and tried to make out I was confabulating and paranoid!

I am very angry. It is all fuming inside me.
Later I will ring my mother, child's godmother, daycare mther and colleague/ friend.

I rang docs in Brisbane at the Alderly branch andspoke with an .... who is going to send me the policy about whether docs should be notifying me about the abuse since I am the parent.

Solicitor rang me and said that CSO S said child is effectevely in the paternal grandparents care.
Solicitor said this is iteresting as all her documentation states that father is the carer.

I am angry about the way in which docs have handled this. Now to find out that child was smacked that hard that he had bruises on his that lasted a week or more according to the doctor. What did child do that was that bad? Nothing I say. He is a good kid.

Good on you docs are taking a child out of a perfectly good home and putting him with bullies.
FUCK YOU DOCS!!!!

8.25pm later

I have spoken with mum, colleauge/ friend, child's godmother, and now my flatmate. Flatmate said how child has been taken from a safe home environment and placed int an abusive foster home care since docs involvement.
Flatmate thinks I should not have given my name to the docs branch at Alderly. I said they would send me the policy about whether I should be notified or not so needed my address.

Mum said be as sly as everybody else, get your facts together.
Mum and I cried on the phone. Mum said she wanted to tell my sister as she was the one who said child should go to foster care.
Mum was wondering if docs become aware that I now know of this that child's hospital chart may go missing. Mum said she had read too many books.

Child's godmothersaid it is not my fault that I rang docs. She said the fact that I utilised my supports indicates that I am pro-active in my health issues. Godmotheragrees that a lot sof what is written is subjective from CSO X upon what I reported to her during that initial interview on 10.2.06.
Godmother thinks that CSO X needs supervision and this is a miscarriage of justice.
(P.S. Child's Godmother and I worked together for the past 6 years - we knew each other very well.)
Godmother thinks that docs could now write into child's file and patch it up.
Godmother said about docs stuffing up our lives andif theywere concerned about the mother's mental state then what have they put in place for reunification.

I said to my colleague/ friend person how CSO X has written on the 10.4.06 ( remember abuse reported on 5.4.06) that child was happy in the foster home. Wow.
Colleague friend of mine said (sarcastically) if child was happy in the foster home then he must have been ecstatic being with me.

Colleague friend of mine said this is like the church that has abused children in their care and now decades later there is all this litigation going on as a result. Maybe this will happen with docs one day.

Colleague friend of mine said didn't father jump up and down and ask docs about their accountability. She asked if father is deemed as a suitable carer where doesn his concerns about child's welfare lay?
Colleauge said why don't I get hold of this doctor's report and take it to the police to report a case of child abuse. I think this is a good idea.
Colleague said she wonders what the course is taken to see if people are suitable foster parents. We wonder if the other chlden have been taken off these people since it was found that my child was abused in that home. My child described there being about 4 kids there.

We are all in shock. Everyone is thinking this could be a case against docs in the way this ghas been handled.

Did docs want to sweep this under the mat, send child off to the father's grandparents to live forever and close their books?

I am angry. Now I have taken a sleeping tablet to try and settle me down. I know that chid is at least safe with the grandparents down there.

What fucking game are docs playing at?

Fuck, what a day. this thing just keeps taking on a life of it's own.

tomorrow I will ring solicitor first up and ask her if she had got hold of a copy of child's medical file as I feel iti si urgent.
I will ring docs at Alderly to see if they have clarification on the policy.

I really do need to continue to document fo rhcild's sake so that he can read all this later as an adult.

Tablets taking effect and i ma tired. It has been such a draining day.

Work tomorrow. Child has an access visit with me on Thursday (2 weeks since we last saw each other) and court on Tuesday.

Again I say for the last account today - thanks docs for taking me son off me ( deciding that I am so mad that I can't look after him and therefore a risk to him) so that he could be abused in care.

FUCK YOU!!!!

Sorry child that this happened to youl I hope it does not have lastin geffects on you. Who
picks up the pieces of this wounded family from docs involvement?