A guy walks into a bar with a giraffe. They both sit at the bar and proceed to drink the night away. After a while, the plastered giraffe passes out and falls to the floor. The guy continues to drink and after a while, gets up and heads for the door. The Bartender stops him, points to the giraffe, and says, "Hey, you going to leave that lyin' there?" And the man looks at the giraffe, then the bartender, the giraffe, then the bartender, back to the giraffe, then to the bartender and says, "That's not a lion, that's a giraffe."



A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel in his pants. He walks up to the bar, sits down, and orders a pint. As the bartender gets a good look at the pirate, he notices the wheel and asks, "Hey matey, do you realize you've got a steering wheel in your pants there?" The pirate says, "Arr... it's drivin' me nuts."



A duck goes into a bar and asks the bartender, "Got any grapes?" The bartender says, "No. This is a bar and we don't sell grapes." The duck leaves.

The next day, the duck goes back to the bar and asks, "Got any grapes?" The bartender says, "I told you yeaterday. This is a bar and we don't sell grapes."

The following day, the duck returns and asks,"Got any grapes?" The bartender loses it. He grabs the duck by the neck, and yells, "I already told you twice! This is a bar! We don't have any grapes! If you ask me again, I'll nail your beak to the floor!"

The next day, the duck goes in the bar and asks, "Got any nails?" The bartender sighs and says, "No, we don't have any nails." The duck says, "Good. Got any grapes?"