It magical time of year again when the Darwin Awards are bestowed, honouring the least evolved among us. Here is the glorious winner:

1. When his 38 caliber revolver failed to fire at his intended victim during a hold-up in Long Beach, California would-be robber James Elliot did something that can only inspire wonder. He peered down the barrel and tried the trigger again. This time it worked. And now, the honourable mentions:

2. The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a meat cutting machine and after a little shopping around, submitted a claim to his insurance company. The company expecting negligence sent out one of its men to have a look for himself. He tried the machine and he also lost a finger. The chef's claim was approved.

3. A man who shovelled snow for an hour to clear a space for his car during a blizzard in Chicago returned with his vehicle to find a woman had taken the space. Understandably, he shot her.

4. After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus driver found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be transporting from Harare to Bulawayo had escaped. Not wanting to admit his incompetence, the driver went to a nearby bus stop and offered everyone waiting there a free ride. He then delivered the passengers to the mental hospital, telling the staff that the patients were very excitable and prone to bizarre fantasies. The deception wasn't discovered for 3 days.

5. An American teenager was in the hospital recovering from serious head wounds received from an oncoming train. When asked how he received the injuries, the lad told police that he was simply trying to see how close he could get his head to a moving train before he was hit.

6. A man walked into a Louisiana Circle-K, put a $20 bill on the counter, and asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash drawer, the man pulled a gun and asked for all the cash in the register, which the clerk promptly provided. The man took the cash from the clerk and fled, leaving the $20 bill on the counter. The total amount of cash he got from the drawer... $15. [If someone points a gun at you and gives you money, is a crime committed?]

7. Seems an Arkansas guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that he'd just throw a cinder block through a liquor store window, grab some booze, and run. So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over his head at the window. The cinder block bounced back and hit the would-be thief on the head, knocking him unconscious. The liquor store window was made of Plexiglas. The whole event was caught on videotape.

8. As a female shopper exited a New York convenience store, a man grabbed her purse and ran. The clerk called 911 immediately, and the woman was able to give them a detailed description of the snatcher. Within minutes, the police apprehended the snatcher. They put him in the car and drove back to the store. The thief was then taken out of the car and told to stand there for a positive ID. To which he replied, "Yes, officer, that's her. That's the lady I stole the purse from."

9.The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into a Burger King in Ypsilanti , Michigan at 5 A.M., flashed a gun, and demanded cash. The clerk turned him down because he said he couldn't open the cash register without a food order. When the man ordered onion rings, the clerk said they weren't available for breakfast. The man, frustrated, walked away.

10. When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor home parked on a Seattle street, he got much more than he bargained for. Police arrived at the scene to find a very sick man curled up next to a motor home near spilled sewage. A police spokesman said that the man admitted to trying to steal gasoline, but he plugged his siphon hose into the motor home's sewage tank by mistake. The owner of the vehicle declined to press charges saying that it was the best laugh he'd ever had.

OMG thank you so much for that Alisa, I laughed my hiney off!

Couple things...

Number one above, the bumbling burgler reminds me of old Bugs bunny & Wyle cyote/Roadrunner cartoons! How classic (And unfortunate)!

Next, number 6 reminds me of a story that I heard of a bank robber who wrote a hold-up note on the back of his paycheck stub, handed it to the teller, got the money, then left the pay stub on the counter of the bank. He was baffled when the police showed up at his home address 15 minutes later to apprehend him!

And last, but not least...number 9 - the Burger King robber. Ann Arbor happens to be the city that my brother J.J. lives in & is the same city where the Fairy Doors story originated & are said to be located in! That's also the same city where I was supposed to take the kids on the Fairy Door tour. Ypsilanti is the city that Karl works in & the Burger King that the attempted robbery took place in, is right accross the street from Karl's work! It is also the very same Burger King that Karl's mom used to work at & a place that we have eaten many meals in.

How freakin weird is that ?!

Anyway, thanks for posting this. One of the very first things my mom read to me off the internet was The Darwin Awards. Thank you for reminding me that it exists, I will be reading up on them tonight thanks to you !

And thank you for the return laugh...

How utterly freaky about the syncs here! How connected are we! Amazing!

I've always said that people fascinate the heck out of me.

Thanks for posting these. I needed a good laugh today!