Okay, then...

What about Australia's Hey Hey It's Saturday Reunion Special where a set of performers imitated the Jackson Five, blackening their faces with make-up, and where Harry Connick Jr. became offended (based on his respect for black history in America) and said so, which was embarrassing for the show performers and host who had meant no offence.

I've done this before, like the performers, where I've expressed something I thought was fine and unwittingly insulted a person. It's a horrible feeling to think you've hurt someone when it was the furthest thing from your mind. And if they express anger, annoyance and shame toward you, it's highly uncomfortable and there is no logical way to get out of it other than to say, "Oh gosh, sorry, I did not at all meant to offend," and hope that they understand.

A personal example of mine was a time we visited a family member who is a lesbian and had just recently moved in with her partner. I had no problem whatsoever with her sexuality. I'm very easy going about those kind of things, even enthusiastic about diversity and differences.

Anyway, in conversation, all sat around, I mentioned that we recently acquired a bird and were looking for another bird as a mate. I said we had to find a female (so they could breed) as we wouldn't want to get two of the same together. Oops, eeek! But it was too late to take it back of course. And I truly meant nothing of it in relation to her, so much so I was THAT oblivious in saying it. My husband was like ---> I started to back pedal, but she quickly brushed it off and we moved straight on to another topic. I let it go because I knew I didn't mean it. I hardly ever see her and I hope she let it go, too, because it was meaningless, really.

I have a spiritual theory about these sorts of things, and that is, our souls desire to mirror back that which is bothering the soul of another. It seems to be a magnetic principle and a way to help us overcome our insecurities by being made to face them. If you are afraid someone will think you are unacceptable, unattractive, etc., then they will express it to you! (And you want to face it because that is just stinkin thinkin that needs changin). To uphold these thoughts and keep them as precious will only keep them safe, alive and unchallenged. If you are worried someone will bring up your sexuality, your weight, your past blunders, then it's as if you have a big spiritual sign around your neck about it and some innocent friend or bystander will subconsciously, but blatantly read it out to you.

I think this incident was one of those moments where a friend (Australia) subconsciously and hence insensitively blurted out a sensitivity that is invisibly hung around the neck of their friend (America) where America feels badly about this part of its past and has carried around the shame (long enough). None of us are perfect, and pasts can't be changed, but we are all trying to do good now. Apologies and forgiveness, eh? Between two bestest friends!