I realize, you probably know some or all of these. I wanted to share them anyway because they were new to me and gave me a good hearty chuckle.
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The dmv line inched along for almost an hour until Mr.Smith finally got his license. He inspected his photo for a moment and commented to the clerk, “I was standing in line so long, I ended up looking pretty grouchy in this picture.”
Mrs.Smith peered over his shoulder, then reassured him, “It’s okay. That’s how you’re going to look when the cops pull you over anyway.”
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A teenage boy got his driving permit. He asked his father, who was a minister, if they could discuss his use of the car.
His father said to him, “I`ll make a deal with you. You bring your grades up, study your Bible a little, and get your hair cut, then we will talk about it.” A month later the boy came back and again asked his father if they could discuss his use of the car.
His father said, “Son, I`m real proud of you. You have brought your grades up, you`ve studied your Bible diligently, but you didn`t get hair cut!”
The teenager waited a moment and replied, “You know Dad, I`ve been thinking about that. You know Samson had long hair, Moses had long hair, Noah had long hair, and even Jesus had long hair.”
His father replied, “Yes son, and they walked everywhere they went!”
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A teenage daughter got family-car privileges. On Saturday night she returned home very late from a party.The next morning her father went out to the driveway to get the newspaper and came back into the house frowning.
At 11:30 AM the girl sleepily walked into the kitchen, and her father asked her, “Sweetheart, what time did you get in last night?”
“Not too late, Dad.” she replied nervously. Dead-panned, her father said, “Then, my precious one, I`ll have to talk with the paperboy he put my paper under the front tyre of the car.”
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A drunk couple was trying to unlock the door of their car with a coat hanger. The husband said, “I can`t seem to get this door unlocked!” His wife replied, “Well, you`d better hurry up and try harder, its starting to rain and the top is down!”
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Man who drives like hell is bound to get there.
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