Before my baby past away.
I, ya little ole me, was a well knowing person in many circles.
From drag racing to martial arts, indoor/outdoor sports as cricket and hockey.
Was in a band, have written so many songs and odes, Had a few published. nothing to say, Australia next Idol...
BBQ's every week end and enjoying life.
I did weight lifting,computers,mobile ph's, repair cars,spray paint/penal beat,did the electronics and wiring.
A jack of all trades and bloody master at none.
I do have a few diplomas. Being Human behaviour and body language, and computers(basic) :
Have a few certificates. Truck and forklift tickets and tractor
I was a very comical person, and always had jokes to tell, even made some new ones up.

I was a little fish in a big pond, Just doing my thing and hurting no one.
My eldest son, was always with me. From the age of two, I started to teach him KickBoxing,As my daughter when she was two.
Up to the point of my 7 week old son dieing. I was doing vering good in my life.
Had the perfect woman,had the perfect family, had a purpose in life. Till my son is dead. and my life follows and takes anyone and anybody that is near me.to a hell.
From being so well liked and knowing to being so alone and hated.
Meek attempts to rebuild,only adds to the on going trip down.
For brief moments life seem to be heading in the right direction,with purpose and with love.
Dont they say, Love conquers all ?. around me, it hides in shame.
Two women now say, I dont trust you anymore, Two women,now say I hate. Two women now believe I am a Paedophile.
I know what a friend is, I know that meaning of Friendship.
When I or they can rock up at a door at any time day or night.
And if I or they said, I need help. There is NO questions, Just how can I.
I know what a friend will do, at 3am in the morning.
Now. Even my shadow runs away. I have No friends Like I use to have.They all left.
Instead of Theres DS, Hi,hows it going to whispers and finger pointing.
To be Isolated and forced to live in fear in a man made prison.Is the burden I carry.
Each time I lose the love and the family, I lose more of me.
And a different me is formed.
Each time DOCS upgrades my life, The more hate and anger swells. The memories from my past haunts me to add to the pains.
Hardly sleep, Hardly eat, No motivation in the home. Live on the internet.
Each time I knew I had to get out, of that rut. I did By building a family, By trying to find love of a woman who wanted little ole messed up me. With her I change and the me slowly comes out, Love becomes love and dreams becomes hopes, and slowly the training wheels are taking off, Only to be hit and crippled yet again. Not desiring to fall back into the pit.
I harden my heart with hate and anger. and again in that man made prison and voicing out, to only to hear my own echos.
Out of darkness,the voice is heard.that falls on another dead soul.
They share and becomes interwoven And again I try. Again love is found,again new life is made, and again they come to murder and steal in the night.

I have begged and I have grovelled and pleading for mercy has fallen on dead cold hearts.
My sarcasm can cut you like a knife due to the rejections and the abuse received.
The law wont Judge me, By posting and voicing out everywhere. by you asking the questions. You can then Judge me. You can see or hear for yourself. And Judge Me.
I am willing.
I have nothing to hide.
Judge me, as The law will not.

U have been judged, and in my eyes, you are an innocent man that does not deserve this, but you know that from me too, as i say it all the time.

Aye, And by doing so, have also taking a beating by DOCS.
Makes me think thats why others reject me.
Dont want to end up the same way.

Human behaviour is so predictable.

Oh! and I will add this. I am not going to paint me the best picture.
I am a Criminal, I have a criminal history.
I had a rough childhood and my teens were no better.I ran with a pack and done some bad things.
There wasnt a house or building that I couldnt break into, There wasnt a car that I couldnt steal in less then 30 seconds.
Fighting was just a part of that life, So I also have assaults.
I wasnt into any form of drugs,but didnt mind a few drinks,hence why I dont drink Now,I stopped by 20yr old and never ever been drunk to the point of not remembering the night before.
I smoked cigs,thats was all. no other forms of drugs.
My 1st prison time was from 1982 to 1984. It is also in that time frame that DOCS claims and states I am taking drugs and molesting children.(funny how I am locked up)
Wasnt till 2001, that I return to a prison for Unlawful carnal knowledge.
From 1984 I believe I woke up to myself and started to change my life, even that was hard to do, But change it I did, By 1996 my son is born(where was DOCS then??,to remove and to kill the love?) I am with this woman off and on for over 15 yrs,Why did I leave,me being selfish,I wanted more children,she couldnt. and our relationship stopped,but not her being a mother,she still did that.
By 1994 I find my dream(a redhead:) ) and we start to build a family,she was already 6 months gone,our daughter is born in 94,
In 96 is when I learn of the brother molesting his daughter and others. I walk away from that family,when the mother took his side.
1997 my son is born and dies 7 weeks later(so,far no DOCS, Why?.)
from 97 to 2001, I am in that depression of hell and in the early parts of it, didnt even consider I was depressed,was in that depression when mistakes were made.and paid for it a 100 times over.
From 2003 to now, I have tried so much to rebuild my life and my dreams and goals.
Since leaving prison, my only crimes are, Traffic. 1 count of receiving stolen prop,cannabis. the DVO's from the 1st partner.
And thats it.
Now I have added events in my record, that they now read of me,to paint me a better picture of a Predictor/paedophile/terrorist,Of cos,anybody reading that for the first time will make a personal opinion(human Behaviour)and then pre judge me.
People like the partners, that did spend time with me, saw a man that is good.
They spent 24/7 with me, they saw all I did, They shared my dreams as I shared theirs. They wanted me for me and the values I have for family,The desires of love of a family.
I have a hard time finding a woman under these conditions,But when I do,I want to keep her and I will do all I can to make sure I dont lose her.
That means no 2 timing,no hitting, and no abuse.
sure there be them times of spats, hey, Normal, derrrr.
If we split, we split for the reason of being normal. Not to have DOCS march in like nazis and force a relationship to end,just cos they say so,When the relationship is sound and normal.what they do Is morally wrong.
I am no saint, I just have learnt to be a better human. My sons death,is the trigger to all this.
I learnt to cry,I learnt how to suffer and to be so much alone. I learn life is not how it should be. I learn love does not conquer all. I learn of the corruption from other so call humans,who will place a blade in you and smile as they do it.
I have learnt what friendship is about and honour. seems others havnt.
I have learnt that 2000 odd yrs ago, a man named jesus lived and gave the foundations to life to follow.
You Will always fall short of the glory to God.

Aye,Lord this is true, I am a mere human, But learning is the values that a human can try, to get as close as possible to being Godly. No human is perfect.
And if you dont learn,you never will.

I read the above posting like many other viewers would have too and I believe all the others would be left speechless like I am.

What I also learnt is that the System will always lie to you.
While in prison, I am told by that system, That I can have a life,that I can have dreams and goals and hopes, I can have a family.
From the 1st step out of prison, The system turned its back. and just took.
What the system is say is this..You did not rehabilitate and never will.

How can I when the same system is the one abusing?.

Speechless?. That only happens when They/you see/hear the truth.
Go watch John Q. Speechless,Yes, But watch the tears flow,as the truth hits you.

Oh! hows this for Speechless.
These words still haunt me.
When I was around 9, My mother says to me. Son.when you were still in my womb, I tried to kill you, I took Vodka and Ford tabs and when that didnt work, I used a knitting needle to try to get you out.
This explains to why I am skinny compared to the rest of my siblings..
I have no love for my mother, That stopped in 96.
She didnt even came to my sons funeral,not even a Ph call, No one from my side of a family.

Now where was DOCS?. when My mother was trying to Kill me?.

Oh! dear me, Now I am Very Speechless.
A little birdie just landed on my shoulder and whispered this in my ear.
A DOCS worker is believing in what I say. He/She Believes I am Done wrong by and is looking further into it. And states their(docs) only doing this On the 2001 crime for what I went to prison for and paid a million times over.
With personal attacks upon me.

Well,What Can I bloody say. This is good fuel.
Now how to use it,